Stay Out!
As they say, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well…I guess our government and nation are truly crazy… A non-issue becomes a catastrophic crisis.
Originally published 7-07-2006
A 1500 word essay examining the inane panic so many people exhibit at the mere thought of foreigners coming to this country. A call to restrict the free movement of individuals across borders is an assault on freedom of association, freedom of contract, and an attack on rights, in general. Who should really “stay out” are politicians…out of our lives...
Available for purchase here.
Aaiiieeee!
Run for your lives! The aliens are invading! Lock up your women and children! Grab your guns! Hide in the basement! The aliens are coming! They want to destroy our way of live! Take over our country! Run! Run!
Aaiiieeee!
Sounds like a well-worn plot for a science-fiction movie. Beings different from ourselves. Stealthily infiltrating our nation. By the time we realize the peril, it’s too late. We’re doomed. Doomed, I tell you! Doomed...
But, of course, this latest episode in xenophobic paranoia has nothing to do with little green men from outer space. Just little brown men (and women...) from south of the border.
From listening to the blowhards and whack jobs from both “ends” of the political “spectrum,” you would think our society is on the verge of collapse. After all, the amount of time and emotional energy devoted to this non-issue consumes a vast amount of the airwaves and Web space and pages of our newspapers and magazines.
All manner of horrors are imputed to these dastardly souls who dare seek to better their lives. Why, they steal our jobs. They suck off the public teat by flooding our schools and hospitals. They are the direst of security risks, ready to subvert The American Way and kill us all. No doubt, those dark-skinned roustabouts lust after our God-fearin’ white daughters and wives, too. They probably smoke pot and consume large quantities of mind-altering substances that they smuggle into this country so they can turn our children into slavering drug addicts. They surely Speak in Tongues most real Americans can’t understand and despoil our cities with their odd preferences in food and drink and clothes. Why, they even hang out on street corners in gangs, talkin’ in their strange ways, intimidatin’ and frightenin’ the good citizens whose world they upset.
Bastards...
To deal with these heinous aliens, we must built huge, impenetrable (ha!) walls spanning hundreds and hundreds of miles along our border. (I mean, those East Germans had the right idea, even if the flow of undesirables was in the opposite direction...) We need to militarize the hot zone and shoot any stupid, arrogant SOBs who refuse to comply with our demands. (The old Soviets had a thing or two they could teach us there.) Establish massive surveillance systems to watch every square inch of desert between the good ol’ U.S. of A. and Mexico. (Hats off, of course, to our fellow statist allies who are much more advanced at this than are we.) Construct huge containment camps to house these criminal interlopers and any other illegals already here that we can roust from the farm fields and construction sites and meat packing plants across this great land of ours. (I mean, we had some good practice at interning Japs last century, but we need to get serious, folks!)
We have to void the longstanding policy that merely being born on American soil makes you an American. After all, those babies are no doubt fronts for Islamic al-Qaeda operatives cleverly disguised as Hispanic Roman Catholics. We must create a nationwide database for everyone and a forge-proof national identification card so only those folks with the proper papers can obtain jobs. Make felons of any scofflaw who dares to work without proper permission and likewise for any money-grubbing employer who seeks to evade the law and hire these devious folks at nonliving wage wages.
Guest-worker program, my ass! Deport ’em all! Send ’em back to where they came from! It’s what the lazy, welfare-cheaters deserve for taking away the jobs that no one else here will work at for ten or twelve hours a day in sweltering heat and crummy conditions for low pay!
Yes. Yes, indeed.
The final message to all those alien invaders, of course, is:
STAY OUT!
From the mouths of babes. Or was that babbling idi—... Oops.
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